"Do you feel more relaxed now than you did when you came in?"

—Like a shark with a suckerfish attached!

"How jammed is the freeway?"

—All the ailments come to mind.

"Are you wearing black to protest oil spills?"

—Would you like to smoke a cigarette?

"Going home?"

—Wherever I am at two a.m. ... Why do you ask? ... I want you to do something unusual for me ... Just anything!

"You snore."

—For extra pleasure.

"Did you know you snore?" :: WildCard-5

—Like I'm in the army or something ... It's good for your heart ... If you're going for volume, you wink at quality ... So what's on your mind? ... Boo! ... Who do you want to talk to in the land of the living? ... There's no Boo! here ... There's no boo-boo here ... You can't talk to anyone in the land of the living, oh little ghost ... The room of rising fumes! ... We're not descendants of fearful men ... Very serious ... Except when I'm on the computer.

"Last night when you fell asleep on the sofa, you were a tremendous snorer." :: WildCard-14

—Beats boring steel, doesn't it? ... You feel all alone in a world you never made ... Pretend you're Kandinsky! ... Pretend you're your grandfather! ... (When you try to be yourself, you act like your mother or father) ... You have to get a sense of humor about it ... You don't have to kill yourself! ... Don't throw us in the briar patch! ... (They try to get people trapped in their own misery) ... Work on saying nothing else.

"I've had it with your bitching and complaining."

—You have a very good sense of humor.

"If you guys don't behave, you're going to get detentions, or you're going to get benched!" [From a wayward nun in charge of the school kids]

—Et sui culpae! ... (Latin: "And it's our fault!")

"Do you want to say hello to Richard? – He wants someone to say hello to him, to acknowledge his existence."

—Do you call it the invisible bathroom? – Get on it!

"You're the best argument I know for mercy killing."

—Toilet training special – Do your duty!

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder."

—All of a sudden they're coming out.

"Laughter incited by sexually perverted comments made by a 62-year-old male celebrity aimed at a 14-year-old girl is not only disgusting, but it reminds us some Hollywood/N.Y. entertainers have a long way to go in understanding what the rest of America understands – that acceptance of inappropriate sexual comments about an underage girl, who could be anyone's daughter, contributes to the atrociously high rate of sexual exploitation of minors by older men who use and abuse others ... I doubt he'd ever dare make such comments about anyone else's daughter." (–Alaska Governor Sarah Palin)

—So this could spread – Let's hope it doesn't.

"What a commentary there ... That's pretty pathetic, good ole David Letterman." (–Alaska Governor Sarah Palin)

—Don't ever get chewing gum in your eyebrow.

"Once a philosopher, twice a pervert."

—Does that mean you have to go to the bathroom?

"The internal compass is related to the magnetic center."

—That's probably why people brush their hair.

"Too bad you're not invited, loser."

—A schadenfreude party!

"What's good for the goose is good for the gander."

—I'm sorry, Senator, I can't recall.

"You know, people are always frustrated when that occurs."

—It must be the factory.

"That's just what I was going to say."

—There's hope, there's trust, there's compassion, there's companionship.

"Virginia, was that you?"

—You can see a light at the end of the tunnel.

"And I thought I was stupid."

—I'm sure you can figure it out.

"That was really dumb."

—In ways you haven't thought of for years.

"She was so great when she was young."

—It's good to know it's not just you.

"He was great." [Bob Dylan]

—Everyone's leaving – They're like rats leaving the ship.

"I forgot who I was talking to."

—When I was someone.

"I was following you."

—Like a demon.

"Mom was right – You really are a waste of space."

—It has nothing to do with now – When you feel bad, you have to realize it has nothing to do with now.

"Which one was at fault?"

—That's something you can't say ... Anyone, I don't know.

"Amen."

—It shows the total failure of mass education – Everyone is lying triple-time now: (1.) They don't believe in God; (2.) They can't say they don't believe in God; (3.) If they don't say the "right answer," they're disgraced.

"Fine, I'll just leave you to your thoughts."

—Richard Ravenough, dealer in mental diamonds – I don't even know how to drive.

"You have made many unfair assertions."

—School's not so good?

"You have made many untrue assertions."

—Leaving you flat?

"You accused me of having a bad signature."

—So that's your news?

"There is no such thing as a double positive."

—Yeah, yeah.

"Like there is no double positive, there is no opposite of 'false pretenses.' I keep forgetting that no one cares about anything anymore. I am a minority of one?" [Link]

—I'll tell you why! They have one thing – a diploma!

"I become so simple everything can mystify me while nothing can comprehend me." [Link]

—The whole trick is, be nice to people, and you'll get rid of all the meanies ... Of course, I was very young.

"There's an old Arab proverb, 'He who seeks to understand everything risks dying of anger.'" [Link]

—You set up different scenarios, and then people gravitate to what they like ... If you think about it, really nice people like to sing.

"What's the opposite of 'false pretenses?'"

—'Arabs think!' – They believe anything that anyone tells them – They're going to take over the world three ways: money, culture, and lying – There's no place sacred – Must have been a tribe – Next time come down the chimney.

"Have I committed a crime?"

—They say it's easy.

"Your comments made me raise my eyebrows."

—It's very powerful.

"You do realize that some of us have better things to do."

—I know how you feel.

"Your perception of things is not quite correct."

—It's old-age thrills.

"Your perceptions are incorrect."

—One at a time.

"The freeyourbrain site seems focused on techniques to deconstruct NLP phrases and prevent their subliminal perception – Similar to another site, taxi1010.com, which is a little nutty." [Link from Cassiopaea Chat Group]

—It's just hard to explain.

"I think our buyer is getting steps away from finding us."

—It's like laying bricks.

"Don't get the wrong idea." [Under their breath, having just made an unsuccessful physical pass at you]

—You lose two ways: When you're good, you lose, and when you lose, you lose.

"You're not a liar, are you? ... or too weak to see this through." [Government "asset" trainer to Jason Bourne, in The Bourne Ultimatum]

—I shouldn't teach you my secrets.

"I am a confused psychology undergraduate wet blanket that seems to lack the perception that others are insulting me."

—It just so happens for what you have, there's no help ... Sarcasm is anger's ugly cousin, Hate is the bride of jealousy, and I only have so much energy.

[Someone channel surfing ... just when you're absorbed in a particular show]

—I know it's boring – One of these days I'm going to watch it with you.

"These Ephesian folk overshadow even psychotic taxi drivers' obsessive- compulsive ways. And that is saying a helluva lot." [Someone from the Portal of Evil Saloon]

—You're going to think I'm the best friend you ever had.

"Don't be a jerk."

—Don't worry about it! Take a powder!

"Jerk me, you faggot."

—Sad sack seeking sex.

"JERK!"

—IT'S WORTH IT!

"This cab's mine!"

—No adult.

"You're a jerk!"

—Don't include me.

"You're also a liar!"

—Maybe it's you.

"You're asking for it!"

—What is a mushroom that likes to have a good time? (A fun guy!)

"I'm asking you as a friend." [To help him cheat]

—The real cheat is to pretend you're stupid.

"I think you're a fucking loser."

—I'm talking to you, aren't I? [Also see, Peer Pressure]

"Well, what do you do when that cab's not available?"

—I really like the way you put things.

"Well, if I got upset with my parents every time they verbally abused me for something I did wrong, I don't know, maybe I'd have a different attitude. But, you know, verbal abuse is in the mind of the beholder." (–Senator Saxby Chambliss, R-Ga.)

—Don't scare me.

"Don't you think maybe you're going overboard?"

—If a man speaks in the forest, and his wife isn't there, is he still wrong?

"Just a thought, as asinine as it may be."

—Words replace vague unspoken fears.

"You're wrong."

—Most people cave in at a very early age – They just do not want to be different.

"You're going the wrong way."

—I'm not so sure about that.

"How is something that is bad different from something that is wrong?"

—Being wrong is not bad; being bad is not wrong – Some things can't be helped; some things can't be rushed – Don't try to find yourself in a mess – How could your self be in a mess? You could be under it.

"I'm going the wrong way, I know." [Attacking themselves]

—You're a diamond in the rough.

"Something very wrong with you."

—It's just dreams to cover up your impulses.

"You guys are making wrong choices and you're telling lies."

—You want to have a nice life, and I do, too!

"Is something wrong?"

—Tell me when it's better.

"The United States has displayed an arrogant air, used lame arguments, confounded right and wrong and made groundless accusations against China." (–Foreign Minister Tang Jiaxuan)

—A mature person would not insult you.

"You're lying!"

—Why should I?

"What made you pick this up, Mary?" [a rental tape in a video store]

—That's mystical, too, isn't it?

"Look! A small version of you!" [on TV]

—It's very easy to communicate with someone who doesn't listen to you.

"If you spent a little more time praying to God and a little less time being willful, the world would be a better place."

—I haven't seen you in Church in quite some time.

"You don't really do that much ... just stay at home doing nothing."

—That doesn't happen often.

"Once a philosopher, ..."

—Also, I have secrets of the soul.

"Pretty far from home, huh?"

—A giant, warm wet spot.

"Do you like it better here than in Boston?"

—It's a lateral move.

"You're a better man than I am."

—Don't tell anyone you know!

"Better late than never."

—Thank you for taking that philosophically.

"You're better than me?"

—Keep that in the back of your mind.

"Is it my fault?"

—Keep checking.

"That's your fault!"

—Don't take too much credit.

"Oh, it's all my fault!"

—You can believe what you want, but I don't believe that.

"You're a loser."

—Part of one big machine.

"You're stuck."

—You don't have to be.