[Heckling] "Boo! ... You're not funny ... I loved your movie! ... Take it off! ... I'm really drunk, and you're still not funny ... Stop lying! ... Go home! ... Get a life ... Hiss! ... Don't quit your day job ... Is there a doctor in the house? I see someone dying ... I'd rather be home watching paint dry ... You're a has-been! ... B.O.R.I.N.G. ... When's the comedian coming on? ... My accountant is funnier than you ... Nice blazer! Did your mom buy it for you? ... You're sooo ugly!" (–Alex Williams, "Heckling moves into mainstream," International Herald Tribune, April 11, 2007)

—Heckling has a lot to do with ticket prices ... There's just no way to know ... That's all they do, is lie ... No one needs it! ... They just trade one load of cabbage for another ... They're taught by assholes to be assholes ... A moment in the sun ... In the old days, at least, they had their own voice inside their head ... That's totally down the tubes ... It's just a throwback ... I don't mind that ... They always did that ... I forgot all my drunk, bald jokes ... I've lost so many! ... "In Shakespeare's day, audiences were expected to hurl insults, if not rotting fruit, at the actors onstage" ... a torrent of negativity ... cultural assassins ... lobster scoundrels!" [See also stargate74, narcissism]

[Persistent heckling, disturbances, catcalls, and throwing things]

—There's a lot of rage out there! ... A lot of people get a lot of release from that ... That's what theater's for ... In Italy they throw fruit! ... They throw watermelons at people ... Out of the darkness into the light ... I think I should write a book, How To Lose Customers ... I hate basements! ... Et cetera! ... No violence!

"You have money?" [Taxi driver to Black woman standing on the curb with her child]

—Talk to my lawyer.

"That incident calls his candor into serious question." (–Mitt Romney)

—If you were a churchgoer, you would understand.

"Couldn't there be some positive things there? – There's all this negativity."

—Okay! Let's do gold!

"Is this because we're being taped?"

—We're not Disney ... No boundaries.

"Do you think I'm the troublemaker?"

—Just wade in.

"Are you two taped together?"

—Life is great when you have lots of boyfriends, isn't it?

"YOU LIE!" [Representative Joe WIlson from South Carolina, heckling the President of the United States during a major address before Congress]

—You're going about it the wrong way. You're not supposed to go up the ladder. You're supposed to go down the ladder ... It's a little tricky.

"Berkeley Tenants Survey 2009 ... (25.) What was the approximate total income for your entire household before taxes in 2008? ... (42.) The first 400 people to return their completed survey will receive a [five dollar] gift card for one of the following Berkeley businesses. (circle the business you prefer) (A.) Peet's Coffee & Tea (B.) Pegasus Books."

—Even the dog is laughing.

"Department of the Treasury - Internal Revenue Service ... Notice of Levy on Wages, Salary, and Other Income ... Date: 05/28/2009 ... Yellow Cab Cooperative, Inc. ... Total Amount Due $21,942.01 ... Automated Collection System ... Tables for Figuring Amount exempt from Levy on Wages, Salary, and Other Income ... Filing Status: Single ... Pay Period: Monthly ... $779.17 ... Signature of Service Representative: R. M. Owens ... Title: Operations Manager, Collection ... Form 668-W(c)"

—If rich people spend money, it's sound business ... If poor people spend money, it's a crime ... or hobby! ... My monthly rent is $1200.00 ... Monthly-income-to-be: $779.17 ... Maybe someone will give me a two-dollar tip! ... Once you see workers, you take their side ... "There's an old saying that victory has 100 fathers and defeat is an orphan." (–President John F. Kennedy, 1960) ... When I have money, I just spend it ... I spend it as fast as I get it ... "No Sweat — Just Flunking Stress Tests" (–U.S. Government) ... You have to spend money to make money.

"Department of the Treasury - Internal Revenue Service ... Taxpayer's Copy of Notice of Levy ... Date: 07/04/2008 ... Bank of America NT & SA, Los Angeles CA ... Total Amount Due $21,044.06 .... Although we have told you to pay the amount you owe, it is still not paid. This is your copy of a notice of levy we have sent to collect this unpaid amount. We will send other levies if we do not get enough with this one ... Signature of Service Representative: R. M. Owens ... Title: Operations Manager, Collection ... Form 8519 (Rev. 01-01) 63518R"

—Bad doesn't describe it ... It just sits there forever ... It's amazing ... The real way to be a crook is to pay your taxes ... I'm not able to ... (All I have in the bank is $2.55)

"Bank of America ... RE: Reference # L071408000811 ... Dear Valued Customer: ACCOUNT # *********6327 ... AMOUNT DEBITTED $2.55 ... We have been served with an IRS Levy in the amount of $21,044.06 naming you as a debtor. In accordance with Internal Revenue Service regulation, we have charged your account(s) in the amount of $2.55 for payment of the IRS Levy. Please note, in addition, we have charged your account a $100.00 nonrefundable processing service charge ... Dave Rojas."

—Somebody has to pay ... They see you as slaves ... They can just be ditzy ... You don't have to do that ... You just have to have enough money to torture people when you die ... They have no character; they have no real values in life ... They're in a silent movie – a German insane asylum ... The smart thing to do is stay out of the way.

"You've heard of mental depression; this is a mental recession ... We have sort of become a nation of whiners ... You just hear this constant whining, complaining about a loss of competitiveness, America in decline." (–Senator Phil Gramm)

—What would the world be like if morons couldn't make money?

"I have immortalized us in taxi1010.com" [Link]

—It's an attitude about taking care of yourself.

"If there hasn't been a film made including this yet, I think I've found the get-rich-quick scheme to end all get-rich-quick schemes." [Link]

—Now, like the Mafia, I'm waiting.

"Can't you get one of your sisters to send you money?"

—Don't worry about it until something happens, that's my advice.

"What is the best way to stay in my own place and not get all swept up in the communal fervor of the group hysteria?"

—Reach out and touch someone else.

"You're really in to money!"

—There's no rush ... It's not worth discussing ... Make enough money to live on, and don't let anyone cheat you.

"Someday, fink, I'm going to take care of you!"

—You think you know everything, but you don't.

"Give me your lunch money!"

—Yeah, okay ... I don't get too much ... What quivers and shakes at the bottom of the ocean? (A nervous wreck!) ... Because we live in the backwaters ... People who realize they'll never better themselves ... We're oily, too!

"So if someone says, 'Give me your lunch money!' what do you say?"

—Closer and closer to the source! ... It was on the news ... That's what you get for having a good mind ... Today's child.

"Do not ignore the enclosed notice! Failure to contact us could result in the Franchise Tax Board attaching your wages, filing a lien against your property, seizing your property or levying your bank accounts."

—Sometimes you're a lot better off not owning anything.

"Lower the price to four hundred dollars – Then you can get a roommate."

—And then you're in a coffin in the middle of the room?

[A baby takes one look at you and starts screaming]

—I haven't heard THAT in a long time.

"How long? How long before you make a million?"

—It's like making a kid kiss the dead people.

"Order to Withhold Personal Income Tax Effective for One Year – Date: 04/18/08 – Tax year(s): 2005, 2004 – Amount Due $1,626.99 – This order to withhold has been issued under authority of Sections 18670, 18671, 18672, and 18674 of the California Revenue and Taxation Code to the addressee shown above to enforce payment of an amount due for California Personal Income Tax. The addressee is required to: 1. Withhold 25% of any payments now due and any payments becoming due to you during the year following receipt of this Order. 2. Continue withholding until 1) the amount due shown above has been withheld, (2) this Order is withdrawn by this department or (3) this Order has been in effect for one year, whichever occurs first."

—You've given me too much! ... When I woke up today – Talk about drifting! – half the boat was gone ... Thank God no one was running through the house yelling, "The water has turned to gold!" ... Do whatever you do with your receipts ... Just let things go ... Right, captain? ... I wonder how many people have ripped this ... That's the beginning of modern art ... It's very nice, because I don't have to do anything ... These guys know what they're doing ... They're so rational ... What do you need money for? ... I'm not going to cheat you.

"I think you are making life a lot more difficult than it needs to be."

—Almost never.

"You've got to learn this by now, Matt! It's not that difficult." [Skipper in a sailboat race, and it's a small boat]

—Everybody learns many things.

"So how do you make money off of that?"

—Sometimes you spend a lot of money to make a lot of money.

"Do you make any money from it?" [The website]

—What do you care? – You're rich!

"How do you make money?"

—It's the first business that never made any money – since the Church!

"Are you spending very much money?"

—I figured that out.

"When's it gonna make any money?"

—Don't worry about it.

"Hey, Grandma! I took the tape off."

—We're rich – We don't have to do that.

"How can you be so detached?"

—When you move to California, everything looks real.

"That's where the money is."

—You're way ahead of me.

"There's a lot of money in that."

—It's more prestige than money.

"Don't leave your money there." [On the windswept table]

—Don't pay bills you don't have to pay.

"There's a lot of money in there." [Your recipe]

—Why should everything have to be easy?

"So sue me."

—I have much more money than I deserve or need.

"Your submitted site has been rejected because of language. The following words were found which rejected this site: (asshole) Remove the words that rejected the site and resubmit it."

—Whatever it changes to, (shit) will come out (If it's an asshole!)

"You are not approved for membership in the club."

—It's a hard thing to be subject to the review of others.

"What would you do if I hit you?" [From a karate instructor]

—Funny what makes you happy – Wouldn't you rather be down at the Black Pussycat Café having a beer or something?

"That means a big earthquake is coming?"

—That's what a little eight-year-old girl would like – They go from there.

"Are you trying to set me off kilter?"

—Are your bolts itching?

"The thoughts expressed in your letter appear to be the rantings of an unstable person."

—Are you kidding me?

"YOU STUPID BITCH! YOU LIED TO ME!"

—How could you tell me that?

[Unintelligible mumbling] "HOW COULD YOU HAVE LIED TO ME ALL THIS TIME?"

—It's easy! ... Cats are slinky.

"Don't lie to me!"

—The truth shall make you free.

"Stop the rhetoric – This issue is about smoking."

—Sorry – I couldn't help myself.

"Stop fuckin' breathin' on me."

—I'm surrounded by assassins! [Jimmy Durante voice]

"Move that fucking car!"

—What a scene, huh?