"Did you watch the movie? Do you still have your ticket?" [Three thugs cornering you outside the theater]

—You have no idea how bad it was.

"Watch it, man!" [Ominously]

—As I go.

"Are you done?" [You're literally twenty feet away from the ATM]

—Make sure! ... It's obvious.

"How long have you been dating?"

—On the wagon or off the wagon? ... No pressure! ... Hitch your wagon to a star!

"I've discovered a third way to come in – One, two, three! – Okay, Dave, whatever rocks your boat." [Talking to himself]

—It's just called being alive.

"Could they maybe say that in one simple sentence on the first page?"

—I'll try it.

"Do you come out this way much?"

—Never act alone ... Directly across the street ... Maybe it's because everything's going your way ... Losing your way in your place book ... What credit to England.

"I'm so sorry your mother didn't love you as much as you wanted her to."

—Ideas, experience ... Neither one. That's what they say. Aristotle, thumb up, "ideas." Plato, thumb down, "experience." ... Neither one.

"How much is the gas here now?"

—There's not many places you can go anymore, are they?

"How much did that set you back?"

—I'm sure you'll find one when everything's cheap.

"How much money do you make driving a taxi?"

—Have some faith.

"HOW MUCH? ... I SAID, 'HOW MUCH?'" [As if you're a prostitute]

—Let's not argue about it.

"I lost my glasses, and I lost my only other pair of glasses at home two days ago, so I'm really depressed." [She's actually crying]

—You can always come over to my house and scrub the floor.

"Do you always keep your dogs in your car?"

—And shiny gold!

"Over in the City they've already sold thirty medallions."

—To rattle people's cages.

"You look depressed – What is it?"

—First of all, don't assume that I am.

"What have I done?"

—Don't look at things! – It might hurt you ... Get a new one! I'll pay for it ... Just let me know when... In the arts, there's no hope in making money ... Go to Church a lot! ... An unholy alliance ... What good is believing in God if he doesn't help you? ... That hurts me when you don't value my work – I guess I know where I stand.

"Everybody's done something."

—Everybody wants smart people in their country.

"What is your zip code?"

—What good are acres on the moon? ... Someday people will give up all this crap.

"You're sixty?"

—Just pretend you're in a meadow filled with sheep.

"How did a guy like you manage to stay single for so long?"

—Resurrection of the body ... I love being single.

"She found you difficult, and that is a recurrent theme." [Critique from a manager]

—I'm in no position to even see what's going on ... So let's do that now.

"You are no longer part of the team – I have to let you go." [–Thomas F. Hall, Assistant Secretary of Defense for Reserve Affairs, to Major General Antonio M. Taguba, who had been ordered to investigate the Abu Ghraib prison abuse scandal, then told he had been overzealous]

—This is why they dream of going to Mars.

"Keeps you busy." [Condescendingly]

—We have to circle back and get our eye on the ball.

"How long is it going to take?"

—Your alarm clock is going off.

"I wonder why I'm such an alarmist. And I wonder why I get extremely scared sometimes over things that don't seem like they should be scary."

—Just be sure you chop the garlic, and add the chicken broth before you make it ... What does it mean, hiding? ... Listening to people say how great it is ... That's it! ... Don't tell your mother ... Donner just fucked Blitzen!

"What supplies do you need?"

—Do I get a pill soon?

"What kind of car do you drive?"

—That's what they say, you know?

"Do you have a medallion, or do you work off of someone else's?"

—Out of the darkness into the light.

"Do you lease this cab?"

—It doesn't matter what you do.

"What company do you work for?"

—It isn't what you think.

"I could never live on this street, buddy."

—Maybe it's too rich for our blood.

"There's so many papers on this street."

—You try, you try.

"You can play the age card all you want, but there's no job on earth where someone is one hundred percent happy."

—It all depends what kind of person you are ... Not everyone can do that ... They're torn between glamor and a pleasant life ... I don't deserve to be this happy ... I just can't help it!

"How long have you been driving a cab?"

—Some of them are very nice and some of them are total idiots.

"I am having trouble understanding how to use your taxi1010.com site. Specifically, how do you memorize the insults, with the bridges, with the follow-ups?"

—You don't have to – Miners in South Africa follow seams of gold.

"Who are you looking at?"

—Just us ... I'm an orphan ... Mr. Knot ... This is Father Time ... Coming home to do an honest day's work ... You're not supposed to just avoid trouble ... Then your mother says, "Why do you eat so much?" ... It'll destroy you, I'm not kidding.

"What are you looking at?" [Stranger challenging you]

—You're in good company.

"Why are you looking at me?" [From a US Marine sergeant]

—I'm going to join the Army tomorrow.

"What in the hell are you looking at?" [High-and-mighty woman standing by the side of the road]

—You don't count.

"WHAT? What are you looking at?"

—I don't know ... I don't keep track of that ... I don't like to dwell on that ... The Wolf Man ... That's how you can find out about people ... The powers that be are happy ... Better dogs than policemen ... You know, this is how I earn my living ... Come on, give me a break – My kid broke his tooth ... You're not missing that much ... It's not a very nice place ... It looks like you're on the way out ... I'm not counting on anything.

"Is there a problem with my car?"

—Very alert!

"I saw you looking at it."

—It never hurts to be friendly.

"Stop looking at me like that."

—I can live without it ... Did you ever read The Way of All Flesh by Samuel Butler?

"You put me in a lot of stress."

—The longer you stay around, the less you have to do.

"You may never know what I've done for you."

—Don't ask and don't count on it is my philosophy of life.

"A healthy way to express yourself, but could have been done differently."

—Running engines backwards.

"You probably shouldn't have done it."

—You may have expected me to know things I couldn't possibly know ... No, no! You have to learn that.

"Do you know what this is? Can you help me find one?" [Amish schoolhouse shooter, indicating his gun]

—Wherever there is severe repression, people weave long elaborate stories to get around it.

"There's not going to be any homecoming this year – Mr. Klang is not going to make it through homecoming." [Weston School shooter]

—They're unable to realize their parents are idiots.

"Steers try; bulls get the job done.''

—Yeah, I'm really bad; I'm a really bad mother.

"Why isn't this done?" [Micromanager, who's secretly "documenting" you]

—Every time I think something bad's happened, something good's happened. [See also "Have you just been sitting here doing nothing all day?" at stargate41.htm]

[Someone ignoring your e-mail]

—Of all the things you can get, working hard isn't so bad ... Do good for yourself – Don't worry about anyone else ... If you don't take the approval, you won't give yourself the disapproval ... You're not supposed to wear white shoes after Labor Day ... The real flow isn't the "social flow" – It's the flow of what comes from yourself ... The essential idea of "cool" is being rejecting ... We know we're still wrong.

[Someone studiously ignoring you]

—Great tragedy.

"Sure! Absolutely." [As if to a child]

—It's abysmal.

"Some exciting life you've got there."

—Why would someone hate what they're good at?

"You can't lead the war on terror if you keep changing positions."

—Looking for something to do?

"What are you doing? Look at the long line here."

—Isn't it amazing how time flies?

"You don't know where Valley Drive is? How long have you been driving a cab?"

—Very oppressive.

"You don't charge an airport fee?"

—This is insidious.

"How long have you been doing this?"

—It's a whole career within a career.

"How long have you been in the States?"

—From birth.

"How long you wait?"

—No need.

"How long did you live in Philadelphia?"

—It's hard to know – I let my mind go.

"How long have you been a cab driver?"

—People are not what they used to be, let me put it that way.

"How long did he stay?"

—Dealing cards?

"Well, how long have you lived here?"

—Who's counting? ... Since always ... It's timeless! ... Let a million flowers bloom.

"So how long have you lived in San Francisco?"

—You're not jealous, are you?

"You're taking the long way!"

—Sorry about that – I don't know what I was thinking.

"XYZ – eXamine Your Zipper!"

—Hold everything! ... I have mixed feelings coming here today.

"Your zipper is down."

—Make a great spy, huh?

"I prefer the back roads."

—It's an incentive.

"What possessed you to write this?"

—A little bird came and told me.

"You've been busy."

—The devil made me do it!

"You busy today?"

—Once in a while you should take it easy.

"You're busy today!"

—Today's a good day not to go to work.

"Busy day today?"

—I'm taking a paid holiday inside myself.

"You are not a team player."

—Different people are good at different things.

"Stop looking at us."

—I'll get ideas how to torture you.

"What are you looking at me for?"

—Would that be a hardship?

"What are you looking for?" [Manager challenging you]

—I don't even know if it's that important.

"Are you looking for somebody?" [Hostess at a fine restaurant]

—Something nice.

"This is obviously a guy who likes to stir things up."

—It's happening less and less.

"Are you looking for someone?" [Stranger challenging you]

—You wouldn't know it.

"Can I help you find something?" [Stranger challenging you]

—You've got a ways to go.

"Playing the game is street smarts."

—You can't really get to someone from the outside.

"You're not going to go on 9th Street?"

—That's another story.

"Have a bushel full of wonderful moments."

—You're not supposed to be what some gypsy tells you is in your future.