"Two ships passing in the night." [Except we're not at sea, it isn't night, we're not very big, and supposedly we can see each other]

—Really dark.

"Ships passing in the night."

—Everyone's cage looks different.

[Thievery confessions or admissions you wish you hadn't heard]

—The temptation was too great.

"Do you believe in Jesus?"

—True meaning – I'm the walking wounded ... There's the truth – It's a fairy tale.

"Appreciate your honesty."

—Not every person can be a Foster Freeze.

"You have the attention span of a gnat!" :: WildCard-8

—Nat King Cole ... Nat-urally! ... For horses, I guess.

"Non-escalating verbal self defense. Grand Celestial Do. If only so that I can bookmark this thread as a meta-bookmark for delusional websites." [Link from metafilter, "The successor to TimeCube?"]

—How many legs does a dog have if you call its tail a leg? (Four)

«Verbal judo simple secret»

—Their whole existence is to prove their parents weren't morons.

"I believe the truth matters." [From Oprah Winfrey]

—Once you get shit from someone, you'll get it over and over again.

"You mean the entire six months you spent working with Hillary Rodham Clinton, she never once discussed Whitewater with you?"

—I can't hear you – What did you say?

"I don't believe you went to Dartmouth."

—Bizarre, huh?

["Where were you born?" "Dodge City."] "I don't believe it."

—Believe me ... I want you to try harder.

"Well, I find that hard to believe."

—Because that's the way it was.

"I just wish I could believe you."

—Those stubborn, stubborn facts.

"It was my job to articulate administration policy." (–John Roberts in confirmation hearings)

—Green is worse than black ... It's not everyone who can get away with doing what they believe in.

"What do you do for rest, or relaxation? ... go snorkeling?" (–Dick Cavett to Janis Joplin)

—It's good to see you happy – You don't have to do everything at once.

"Do you believe in God?"

—When I hear the Bach B Minor Mass, I know there's a God.

"I can't believe you!"

—When most people have a choice between being safe and having fun, they choose not to have fun.

"Your daddy must be a baker because you sure have nice buns."

—You're a steady passenger on the banana ship when it leaves for North Africa every winter.

[Disapproving looks]

—Charming!

"Focus on your own damn family!"

—Thank God MY mother's dead.

"You're so honest!"

—Now you know how George Washington got to be great.

"An honest guy."

—What's better than that?

[A piece of apple strudel shoots from the tip of your tongue across the dining room table into the Chancellor's peach aperitif]

—A man of the people, right?

"How did you manage to do that?"

—Always do unto others what your self is doing unto you.

"Mean People Rule."

—Over what?

"Cool!"

—Even if it's bad for you.

"That is cool!"

—It's probably an advance in human evolution.

"Taxi1010 is ahead of its time."

—A hundred kinds of peppers.

["What's your profession?"] "I work in a bank."

—Don't deny it!

["What's your profession?"] "I work for UCSF."

—Otherwise you obliterate everything that's you.

"Sounds like a lot of people hate you."

—Sometimes when people have really severe pain.

"Sounds like your parents."

—You get a choice – You go to the bathroom or walk through a mirror.

"Sounds like a plan."

—To a point.

"Sounds like a winner."

—There's the angel.

"Have you done your homework?"

—A lot of it is mental.

"You have a book on the table that's a gem; it's a book I happen to know a lot about."

—Do you want to look at it?

"Where's my homework?"

—If you can't, don't.

"I want you to wear a condom, because you could have AIDS."

—That happens a lot, you know?

"If you don't wear a condom, I might give you one of my dangerous diseases."

—Do it again!

"Another sunny day!" [Total fog]

—A candle just burns four nights.

"How many days do you drive?"

—Now we're going to get into money!

"What time did you start today?"

—Day is night and night is day.