|   | 
      | 
     
      
         
          |  
             Diving Under Bullies, 
              Whom They Say Want 
              Power & Respect 
           | 
         
         
          |   | 
         
         
          |  
             OUCH ... Not 
              quite ... All right ... We'll 
              see ... Nothing fancy. 
           | 
         
         
          |   | 
         
         
          |  
             I would like to add a wee bit of tonic  and fortifying 
              expertise  to the problem of bullies, ("School 
              Bullying and Violence,") who may or may not want a "quick-fix" 
              of respect, I'm not quite sure, because the ship has sailed off. 
              When I'm not flipping around in the ocean here, climbing up on a 
              raft from time to time, I'm an urban transport specialist back in 
              San Francisco CA USA, where I sell people taxi rides! 
           | 
         
         
          |   | 
         
         
          |  
             My sister and I run taxi1010.com; 
              I'm Richard Ames Hart, she's Amoret Phillips. Pretty grassroots. 
              Some of the people in my taxicab carry guns and knives; others fancy 
              themselves on very important missions; others let their minds go, 
              playing the absent-minded tourist, with family; all enjoying the 
              exquisite sights back in San Francisco. I'm just like them. I'm 
              like them all, even the bullies! What we all have in common is our 
              humanity, the dreams we have at night, and our growing understanding. 
              With that in mind, I do everyday research on sticking up for yourself 
              ... no matter what! ... though now find myself smack in the 
              middle of the ocean, climbing back up onto this life raft. 
           | 
         
         
          |   | 
         
         
          |  
             What you need to know is very little ... though to find that little 
              takes very, very much! I always thought it would be cool to know 
              the fewest set of comebacks for sticking up for yourself, under 
              any and all circumstances, and offer my sincere findings here, before 
              we go under: 
           | 
         
         
          |  
               
           | 
         
         
          |  
             "OUCH ... Not 
              quite ... All right ... We'll 
              see ... Nothing fancy." Those 
              are universal responses you need for climbing up onto a life raft 
              with some unknown. The guy's asleep now, so I can safely use my 
              flashlight. Thank goodness! I'll find out who he is. 
           | 
         
         
          |   | 
         
         
          |  
             I've got the ship's 
              manifest here, and the invited guests included Thomas Jäger 
              (Germany / moderator), Joaquín Mora-Merchán (Spain 
              / moderator), Urban Lissman (Germany / moderator), Julia Riebel 
              (Germany / moderator), Paul Horton (Denmark), Kevin Perry (Denmark), 
              Catherine Blaya (France), Werner Ebner (Germany), Tamara Ebner (Germany), 
              Catarina Katzer (Germany), Ulrich Krämer (Germany), Marcus 
              Lüpke (Germany), Stephen Minton (Ireland), Mona O'Moore (Ireland), 
              Oliviero Facchinetti (Italy), Beatrice Roselletti (Italy), Rinus 
              Rodenberg (Netherlands), Jörgen Stoute (Netherlands), Helga 
              Johannessen (Norway), Juan Calmaestra Villén (Spain), Fuensanta 
              Cerezo (Spain), Mar’a José Mohedano García (Spain), 
              Juan Manuel Munoz Gonzalez (Spain), Antonio Jesús Rodriguez 
              Hildalgo (Spain), Victoria Trianes Torres (Spain), Bo Munthe (Sweden), 
              who said, "I find it difficult to spread the knowledge of how 
              to create a safe school environment," Serdar Degirmencioglu 
              (Turkey), Can Gezgör (Turkey), Kazim Alat (Turkey), Peter Smith 
              (UK), Andy Hickson (UK) , Claire Monks (UK), Colin Moorhouse (UK), 
              Rob Osborn (UK), Sue Sanders (UK), Robert Slonje (UK), Aramis Lopes 
              (Brazil), Marisol Moreira (Uruguay), Colleen Taylor (Canada), Elisabeth 
              Englander (USA), Paul Guerino (USA), Angi Littlejohn (USA), Tom 
              Letson (USA), Sandra Peters (USA), Andy Tomko (USA), Nancy Willard 
              (USA), Loreine Wynne (USA), Marilyn Campbell (Australia), John Fenaughty 
              (New Zealand), and Imelda Kemeza (Uganda), who said, "Shared 
              knowledge is a treasure to a growing mind." 
           | 
         
         
          |   | 
         
         
          |  
             While the ship was still around, with me a stealthy stowaway, I 
              found an anonymous 
              website called "Verbal Self-Defense" which started 
              out with four attacks: 
           | 
         
         
          |   | 
         
         
           
            
               
                |   | 
                 
                   "You can't do anything right!" 
                 | 
               
               
                |   | 
                  | 
               
               
                |   | 
                 
                   "Why do you have to be so stupid?" 
                 | 
               
               
                |   | 
                  | 
               
               
                |   | 
                 
                   "Shut up!" 
                 | 
               
               
                |   | 
                  | 
               
               
                |   | 
                 
                   "You're a freak!" 
                 | 
               
             
           | 
         
         
          |   | 
         
         
          |  
             I was so curious how the writer would respond to these attacks, 
              and instead, was treated to a lengthy analysis of four fictional 
              characters: 
           | 
         
         
          |   | 
         
         
          |  
             (1.) The Insecure Authoritarian, trying to boost their own power 
              by stripping you of yours (Don't confront him; go along with him; 
              embarrass him later) Suggested response: "I agree." (2.) 
              The Abusive Victim, blaming you, using outright lies (Don't accept 
              blame; don't argue; don't let their problem become yours) Response: 
              "I see." (3.) The Bored Cynic, using sarcasm, a dimwit's 
              brand of comedy (Play dead; become a bored, unresponsive audience) 
              Response: "I'm bored." (4.) The Bully, temporarily boosting 
              their own self-esteem by intimidating others (Avoid them; practice 
              self-assertive comeback lines; learn a martial art) Response: "I'm 
              confident." 
           | 
         
         
          |   | 
         
         
          |  
             Since I was an uninvited guest on the ship, I couldn't say that 
              much, though was curious to test my "universal responses" 
              on the writer's four unaddressed attacks: 
           | 
         
         
          |   | 
         
         
           
            
               
                |   | 
                 
                   "You can't do anything 
                    right!" 
                    OUCH. 
                    Just wait! 
                    In psychology it's called regression in service of the 
                    ego; you know you're gathering yourself in a certain way. 
                 | 
               
               
                |   | 
                  | 
               
               
                |   | 
                 
                   "Why do you have to be so stupid?" 
                    Not quite. 
                    Until now! 
                    You can bet on it. 
                 | 
               
               
                |   | 
                  | 
               
               
                |   | 
                 
                   "Shut up!" 
                    All right. 
                    A joke! 
                    Come on, we both know I can't do that. 
                 | 
               
               
                |   | 
                  | 
               
               
                |   | 
                 
                   "You're a freak!" 
                    We'll see. 
                    Oh, yeah! 
                    A lot now, huh? 
                 | 
               
               
                |   | 
                  | 
               
               
                |   | 
                 
                   "Anything new?" 
                    Nothing fancy. 
                    Nothing we haven't planned for. 
                 | 
               
             
           | 
         
         
          |   | 
         
         
          |  
             That's when someone caught me and tossed me off the ship. "You 
              weren't invited!" they called out after my plummeting body, 
              uncurling and hitting the water in a perfect half gainer, crying 
              out for the benefit of any sharks, OUCH. 
           | 
         
         
          |   | 
         
         
          |  
             The trouble with me is, whenever anyone attacks me with words, 
              I forget everything ... except "OUCH 
              ... Not quite ... All 
              right ... We'll see ... Nothing 
              fancy." 
           | 
         
         
          |   | 
         
         
          |  
             As far as I'm concerned, a bully  just a battered-about person 
              like me, who has found his way into the back seat of my taxicab, 
              back in San Francisco  is simply a high-maintenance friend 
              ... someone who's paying me! ... a diamond in the rough! 
           | 
         
        
          |   | 
         
         
          
            
               
                |   | 
                 
                   "What the hell do you think you're 
                    doing?" 
                    Nothing fancy. 
                    Aw, shucks! 
                    Some people can admit they're not happy. 
                 | 
               
             
           | 
         
         
          |  
               
           | 
         
       
     | 
      | 
      |