|
Naked Anger Ain't Taboo — |
|
It's Just Unbelievable! |
|
|
|
February 23, 2012 (Dream) I spend a little time at the café across town, taking care to park my car in a way that won't lead to any trouble. When I get to David Daniels' seminar, I meet up with David Van Ness just outside the main hall. "This is a wonderful opportunity," I tell him, "to find out the essence of his meetings while he's still alive." A part of me realizes he's actually dead, and that this is simply a dream I'm having that he's still alive (and about to give a seminar), and to bide my time, go over to a table that I know contains a stack of magazines from when he was actually alive. I see David Daniels off in the distance, just outside the main hall. I turn back to the magazines and try to make sense of their covers, maybe to arrange them a certain way. There's something here about lying, though it's written, as I remember, in vague "magazine-speak," that is, bathed in useless generalities. (Fin) |
|
|
|
I'll get the generalities over: (1.) If you channel things through certain words, everything becomes easy; (2.) If you treat other people with a cocktail of humor, grace & subtlety, and yourself with a straight shot of respect, all your dreams come true; (3.) If you understand something, you can sidestep it. |
|
|
|
Last week, when an entrepreneur in my San Francisco taxicab suggested I present all my research on Non-escalating Verbal Self-Defense, over there at taxi1010.com, as "How to be effective with anger," I instantly grasped his meaning, though felt slightly out of my element. I mean, can you imagine giving a seminar filled with hundreds of furious people? That's not for me. However, when I began to understand what he was saying, I realized it's not, "How to be effective with anger," it's "How to be authentic with anger," or as Gurdjieff used to say, "How to be essential with anger." Aha! All you have to do is slightly shift things. Then everything flows. |
|
|
|
Now, I'll be very specific: (1.) There's angry dudes; (2.) There's whacked-out dudes; and (3.) There's children. All people really want to do is to learn how to be happy (as in "Life, Liberty & The Pursuit of Happiness") how to be honest (as in, "Is there any kind of sex that isn't abuse?"), and how to be authentic (as in, "Do it yourself!") |
|
|
|
There are some funny things a person can learn about anger. For instance, if an angry little boy starts copying everything you say, you can start reciting useful things for the child to know. You say, "Let's go now!" and the child (copying you) says, "Let's go now!" You say, "Are you ready?" and the angry dude says, "Are you ready?" So here's where the fun begins. You start saying things like, "Eight times seven is fifty-six," or "Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we may die," and wait for the angry little dude to keep copying you, and learn something. |
|
|
|
Here's another general strategy: Some angry or whacked-out dude sits down uninvited at your table. This is clearly an annoyance, (unless you're feeling the walls are melting, and we're all in this together). The fun is to begin saying, "Hey! Can you loan me any money? I'm kind of down and out ... Or better yet, can you give me a twenty, or a hundred?" |
|
|
|
The best thing for YOU to say, if the tables are turned, is "—Just wait!" For instance, If you've just given a street person a couple of dollars, saying to the dude, "Here's a dollar for you, and a dollar for a rainy day," and the guy suddenly says, "Can you give me a big one?" (from your wad of bills, which he really shouldn't have seen), say, "—Just wait!" (It keeps your rage from bottling up.) |
|
|
|
Here are some variants: "Guess what?" "—I'm waiting." (You want things to flow, without too much effort on your part.) |
|
|
|
"Are you in a hurry there, Todd?" "—Without stopping. ... I'm way ahead of you." |
|
|
|
As an added bonus, when you're checking out the menu of responses over there at taxi1010.com, look for two-word responses which let your true feelings shine! That is, don't hesitate expressing your anger (respectfully!) with biting sarcasm. |
|
"Can't you read?" "—NOTHING LESS! ... Something magnificent!" |
|
"Are you gay?" "—Keep going! ..." |
|
"How many times have I told you not to track mud through the house?" "—Way ahead ... I've lost count ... I'VE LOST TRACK!" |
|
"What's up, bud?" [from your archenemy] "—Nothing crucial ... Just so!" |
|
"Euu, you're a slut!" "—Keep going! ... Let's call it very fast-track!" |
|
Expressing anger is not taboo! Bottling it up can mean you're through! ... by squeaking out in ways you don't expect, say, in schoolyard shootings, (Take aim, and bring it out consciously: "I'm really pissed-off!") ... or by coiling & curling up inside you as deep festering neuroses. (Don't get constipated with wrath: "You're shitting me!") |
|
"How many times have I told you not to walk on the grass?" "—YOU SHOULDN'T! ... Will you do me a favor? ... DROP DEAD!" |
|
"That's my roommate – He's a cab driver." "—Crossed wires ... If anything ... Don't go big words on me! ... When all we ever wanted was to learn, love, and live." |
|
Never practice letting off steam around (1.) police officers; (2.) your boss at work. Otherwise, let 'em have it! After a while, the anger flows through you and simply dissipates (if you're below water) or evaporates (if you're above it). |
|
|
|
|